Ghetto Cowboy
MO THUGS FAMILY
GHETTO COWBOY
Krayzie Bone, Thug Queen, Layzie Bone, Powder, and Felicia
[Horses galloping. Horses neighing.]
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
You better count your money.
with Felicia:
Ghetto cowboy.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
The name is Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone, wanted up north for all the gold that I stole, along with some cash, even took the mayor's daughter. Now, that there's kidnappin', but she was with it, so I brought her. Then, got myself into a whole heap of trouble, double-crossed by the law, so there's nobody to run to: yeah, it's just me and my sawed-off shotgun. Outlaw--call him Leather Face. I'm headed for the West, heard they got a couple banks in town that ain't been held up yet. Well, uh, I oughta make it by sundown. I figure that's enough time for me to get the whole rundown. So, I continue my mission. It's gettin' dark, so I'm watchin' for them damn Injuns--they like to catch ya, then they rob and split. I be a rootin'-tootin'-shootin' damn fool, protectin' my chips. All of a sudden, I heard somebody rumble in the bushes. Stop my horse. [Horse neigh.] Whoa, Nellie! Who in the bushes? You better speak out or I'm a let my shotgun song sing out.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
Who is this? I hope this ain't the law. Jump out the bushes with my sawed-off shotgun.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
C'mon out, right now. I'm gettin' angry. Took a step back, 'cause it could get dangerous.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
Please don't shoot. It's just me, Thug Queen, the horse-stealer.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Then, why the hell is you hidin' in them bushes?
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
I'm wanted in four counties for armed robbery, killed to two sheriffs, six of his best men with my hand, stole two horses. Thought you was the law, that's why I jumped in the bushes.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Goodness. Now, she was hotter than the barrel on fire, but I could use her for the job, so I told her to ride. C'mon.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
May I ask you what you headed to the West for?
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
I got a partner, got a plan for some dough, and if you're down, you can pick up yourself a pretty penny. 'Be in town in a minute, now be sure if you're with it.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
We out before the sun rise, gotta stallion for your partner to ride. Hit the saloon for the moonshine. Down for whatever, let's ride, let's ride.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
These directions say we go to Tucson, Arizona. When we arrive, we'll cop a place we can bunk, and meet my boy in the mornin' for details and hook-up.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
You better count your money.
Felicia:
Ghetto cowboy.
[Rooster crowing.]
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Rise and shine! Good mornin'. Howdy. Nine o'clock we meet my boy in the saloon in the valley. Now, I done came a long way, and I don't wanna be late.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
Tell him I make ya (?) 'cause you know we ain't.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Move out! Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup. [Whip cracks, horses neigh.]
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
You better count your money.
Felicia:
Ghetto cowboy.
Layzie the Kid:
I'm peepin' Krayzie's wanted poster in the saloon, so I assume it'll be trouble around here pretty soon. Glance across the room: I see this youngster getting ready to fight, but if he mess up the night, I think that Krayzie just might take his life. So, I approach him, and I pause. Look, man, I really don't wanna brawl, but won't you chill before them laws come messin' up this masterplan? Since he already rowdy, I just asked the man: Hey, you want some work? Well, partner, put in your bid, and by the way, now what's your name? They call me Layzie the Kid.
Powder P:
The name's Powder P, can I get a twelve gauge? Outlaw--everyday on the front page. Mister Kid, if you give me the lowdown, me and Black Jack be ready for the showdown with two double-barrels pointed at whatever. We'll stick together. I'm purty clever.
Layzie the Kid:
So saddle up, jump on the bandwagon, because it's all goin' down. I heard a guy run in the bar screamin', Krayzie's in town!
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Now when we get to the saloon, you don't worry. Wait outside, and don't be stealin' nobody's damn horses! Step inside the bar. Lay the Kid, you son of a gun!
Layzie the Kid:
Hey, man, I'm glad you made it safely. Now let's go have some fun. And this my partner Powder, he's a young gun.
Powder P:
Howdy.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
Mighty glad to meet ya, son. Oh yeah, you know I also brought a friend along. Meet Thug Queen, the horse peddler, straggler, just met her.
Thug Queen, the horse stealer:
Howdy, partner, already got the horses saddled up.
Layzie the Kid:
I hope you good at robbin' banks like you rustle that cattle up.
Powder P:
Now, y'all, it's gon' be gettin' dark real soon.
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
I think you're right, I say we move. C'mon, let's move out!
Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup. Move out! [Whip cracks, horses neigh.]
Krayzie Big Bad Ass Bone:
You better count your money.
Felicia:
Ghetto cowboy.
